


Affection.

by slicesofsilver



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angsty Bellamy Blake, Bellamy Blake - Freeform, F/M, POV Bellamy Blake, Song Lyrics, Song: Affection (Between Friends), Teen Angst, bellamy blake angst, the 100 season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 04:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20924144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slicesofsilver/pseuds/slicesofsilver
Summary: I know song-fics are not very popular, but if you guys want, do give this one a shot. It's based on the song ‘Affection’ by Between Friends. Request by a fellow tumblr Bellamy Blake enthusiast!





	Affection.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first song-fic ever, yay! I’m so excited for this one and I hope you guys will like it!
> 
> Obsly, I recommend listening to the song. It took me a couple times hearing it to actually get in the flow and to actually enjoy it, but I must admit, it’s ended up in my heavy rotation!

** **

** **━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━** **

**[BELLAMY'S POV]_   
_**

_ ** ** You're taking what you want right from me ** ** _

_ ** ** Wrapped up in so much ** ** _

_ ** ** Life is just the way you hold me ** ** _

_ ** ** You pick your miscellaneously ** ** _

_** ** Wrapped up in all the choices you're not giving to me ** ** _

Never in a million years would I have guessed I'd get myself wrapped in a situation like this. Y/N was something else, she really was. As I watched her get dressed before leaving my tent early that morning, I realized that every time she left me, she did so taking a part of me with her, even if small. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was sure she could ask me for anything during our nights together and I'd have given it to her, but she never did. Maybe I was getting too invested in what we were doing and she was just in it for the sex. I wouldn't blame her. I let my head fall back on the bed, not wanting to move from the warm bed, from the side she always slept on and that still smelled like her. _Fuck._

I went over the events of the night before not sure who started it this time, but not really caring about that now: I took her to my tent decided to take things slow this time, wanting to enjoy every second of it but losing myself all too fast as soon as her lips attached to my neck and her hands pulled on my hair. The sex was always great with her, I wasn't sure how exactly but, the truth was, I couldn't complain. I loved having sex with her. And I always made sure she enjoyed it too, so we were good there too. But it had stopped being just about sex for me, I had started to enjoy the after: being wrapped in her arms long after we came down from our highs or having her lying over me, with her head on my chest; falling asleep together had also become the rule after the night I basically fell asleep in her arms and she didn't push me away from her to leave. I thought she liked it too, but she never spoke about it. We barely spoke outside our shared nights.

I heard voices outside, taking me out of my own head, forcing me to come to terms with the fact that I had a camp to look after; so, I stood up and got dressed but my mind kept going back to her, to all the possible things we could be, what we could lose and what we could win and what I truly wanted.

**\----------------------**

**[YOUR POV]** ** _  
_ **

_ ** ** I'm laying on the floor ** ** _

_ ** ** We're drinking 'cause we're bored ** ** _

_Another night in this beautiful hell._ I sighed but still smiled looking around me: Jasper and Monty had, yet again, managed to make another batch of their, by now, famous booze; everyone seemed to be really enjoying themselves, most of them with a glass in their hands and either immersed in deep conversations or struggling to walk straight due to the amount of alcohol in their systems. It was good we had established shifts to guard the camp or else the Grounders could have joined us tonight and no one would have noticed, seeing they were already seeing double. But not him. Not Bellamy Blake. At least not yet. I knew for a fact he didn't have the night shift but it was also true I had never seen him completely letting loose. Not outside his tent, I mean. The sound of laughter following a loud thud on my left gained my attention: another kid down. I had to laugh, taking a sip from my own drink, but never drinking enough to lose sense of what I was doing.

\- "Laughing at people's miseries is not very ladylike."

His deep voice forced a shiver down my spine. I swear I tried to stay away from him but it was as if the harder I tried, the closer we got. He was an asshole, a fucking good-looking one to my dismay. A waste if you asked me. Or maybe I was just trying to picture him as the bad guy to make my life easier but he never seemed to care.

\- "I do a lot of things that aren't ladylike." –I finally answered him as dryly as I could, not even bothering to find his figure that I was certain was standing just next to me, closer than necessary, just like he always did.

\- "And I like every single one of them."

I had to contain myself from slapping him across the face. He always managed to get the worst out of me; it didn't matter what my mood was: if Bellamy Blake was around, I could punch a hole through a wall. I hated him. I thought I did. I wanted to. I thought he despised me too. The only thing that didn't quite fit there was the sex. I thought it was a one-time kind of deal but, for some reason, no matter how much we fought or how much I wanted to break his nose most of the time, we always ended up in between the sheets. And, don't get me wrong, it was amazing every time or else I wouldn't go back to him as frequently as I did nor would he come to me but, after we were done, there was always something missing. I wasn't sure if it was because of us, of who we were as individuals or due to the lack of effort either of us cared to put into whatever we were doing to see if it could get us somewhere else.

\- "I know."

\- "Why are you alone?"

He seemed to actually care this time so I allowed my eyes to look for his as he sat down next to me, leaning back on his hands and moving his face to the side to look at me. If he were the tiniest bit uglier, everything would have been much easier, but he had to be a fucking Adonis walking around, of course.

\- "I'm not exactly alone now."

\- "Come on, Y/N."

My name didn't usually fall from his lips outside his tent unless he wanted something.

**\-------------------------**

**[BELLAMY'S POV]**

_ ** ** Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places ** ** _

_ ** ** And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces ** ** _

_ ** ** (One more time) ** ** _

_ ** ** Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places ** ** _

**_**And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces** _  
**

The truth was, even surrounded by all these people, I felt alone. Another night, another party they had decided had to happen. I hated them. I hated not being able to let loose like them, I hated not having someone to be close to. Kids around me drinking and making out, bonding over whatever came to mind. I wanted that. And I ended up doing what I did almost every night and would certainly do all of them if it weren't for my pride: look for Y/N. She was sat on the grass alone, a cup in hand that I was certain she'd never empty; I could put my hand on fire and not burn. Everything seemed so different at night. With the sun up, I tended to think I knew nothing about her outside how fucking great she was in bed but, once it set and we could finally see the stars, I realized I knew more than I cared to admit. More than she'd ever recognize. I really thought we'd be a one-time thing but our nights together were now far more common than those we spent alone. I kept going back to her, and I knew why: because she seemed to care. And that was what I finally realized I craved: affection. So, I did what I did every night: move to her, starting the conversation the only way I knew: with a snarky comment I knew she'd hate the moment it left my mouth.

\- "Laughing at people's miseries is not very ladylike."

\- "I do a lot of things that aren't ladylike." –she didn't even bother looking at me.

\- "And I like every single one of them."

\- "I know."

\- "Why are you alone?"

\- "I'm not exactly alone now."

\- "Come one, Y/N."

As her name fell from my lips she turned to look at me, her eyes directly finding mines as I sat next to her, leaning back on my hands, making sure one of them was behind her so that no one would come bother us. Not that they'd dare coming at me, anyway. She didn't move her eyes from mine, she looked hesitant and, for a moment, I thought I actually did something wrong but the only thing I was doing was trying to show her that I did care.

\- "I'm drinking so that, hopefully, this day will end up soon."

\- "Was it that bad?" –we hadn't moved our eyes from each other, soon forgetting where I was.

\- "People are trying to kill us and we have no way of knowing when that'll be." –she finally moved her head to look to the fire in front of her, the reflection of the flames on her skin made her look even more beautiful than what I already thought she was- "Every day is a bad day around here."

\- "Maybe the nights are worth the hassle."

Her head snapped back to look at me, her brows furrowed and jaw clenched as she stood straight. I realized all too late how that sounded.

\- "You're an asshole!" –she stood up, throwing her cup to the flames before I could so much as to think of an answer- "Find someone else to fuck with, I'm tired of being your fuck toy."

**\--------------------**

**[YOUR POV]**

_ ** You're saying what you want right to me ** _

_ ** ** No filter on your mouth, we know you talk in your sleep ** ** _

_ ** ** Remembering the times they won't remember me ** ** _

_ ** ** Our nights melt into sequels, you sink into me ** ** _

It was the same every damn night: he only wanted sex. Yeah, sure, I enjoyed it too but was this all we were ever going to do? I was starting to hate living down here more than on the Ark, and that was saying something. He couldn't have been any clearer: _"Maybe the nights are worth the hassle."_ Yeah, like fucking him would solve all of my problems, what a fucking jerk. I stormed out of there towards my tent, half of me wished he'd come after me half of me dreaded the thought.

\- "Y/N, wait!" –his fingers trapped my wrist, pulling me back to him- "Hey, I'm sorry, that's..."

\- "Let me go."

\- "No, there's something I have to explain."

\- "I am tired of this." –I tried to get away but he just wouldn't let go- "I don't want this, I don't want to be just a warm body, I want to feel something else, why can't you understand that!"

\- "Who says I don't?"

\- "You?" –I yelled back at him- "Every single time, you only talk to me nicely when you want to fuck!"

\- "That's not true."

\- "You just did!" –I pointed back to where I had been sat in peace until he showed up- "_"Maybe the nights are worth the hassle". _Yeah, your dick is worth my every trouble down here, sure." –I rolled my eyes- "Let go!"

\- "That's not what I meant!" –he yelled back at me, pulling me closer, his wrap on my wrist getting tighter- "I meant that, to me, it's all worth it to have a couple hours with you. Not to have sex, but to be in your arms."

I took a step back as his words hit my ears. I must have misheard him, he could not be serious; he liked to sleep around, he liked fucking with people both physically and emotionally, why would he enjoy... being with me? Bullshit. But maybe... I was starting to consider maybe he was being finally completely honest with me until he opened his mouth again. I loved his mouth, but not when he used it to speak.

\- "But last time I checked you were crying out for me to fuck you harder. So, my dick is actually solving a couple of your problems."

He had to ruin it. Of course, he had. I felt my face burning with rage, my eyes hurting and threatening to spill every single tear I desperately had been fighting to keep back for so long. His hand would not let go of my wrist and I needed to leave before I hurt myself or said something I'd regret. I rose my hand and slapped his face as hard as I could, his grab on me immediately softening and I took that as my cue to leave.

\- "Fuck you." –I spat at him, taking my wrist on my other hand and massaging it as I started running away from him.

  
**\-------------------------**

**[BELLAMY'S POV]**

_ ** ** I'm laying on the floor ** ** _

_ ** ** We're drinking 'cause we're bored ** ** _

I stood there, caressing my cheek and watching her move away from me. _Bellamy, you're a fucking asshole._ I sat right there on the grass, wishing things were different, wishing I had kept my mouth shut. A kid passed by with two drinks so I basically ripped one from him before he ran away screaming. I swallowed it in one sip, feeling it burn my throat but not as much as my face hurt. I laid down, closing my eyes, wanting to scream. She had hit me with all her strength, that much was clear. I had enraged her, that was also crystal clear. Talking to her now also seemed like pretty much the only sensible thing I could do. I wanted to let her a moment to calm down, knowing I wouldn't manage to say a word if I caught her like she had left. _Fuck, Y/N, you're driving me mad._

**\---------------------**

**[YOUR POV]**

_ ** ** Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places ** ** _

_ ** ** And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces ** ** _

_ ** ** (One more time) ** ** _

_ ** ** Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places ** ** _

_****And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces**** _

I finally reached my tent, fuming, wanting to break everything in there into a million pieces, to run away from the camp, to scream, to cry, to throw a tantrum. But also, to rip all his clothes off. And I hated myself for it, for being so self-destructive that half of me could still think being with him was a good idea. _A night alone will put everything into perspective._ I moved the sheets down to get in my bed, taking first my boots off, not caring for the mess I was making now as I threw my pants to the floor. I heard the flap of my tent opening and I didn't even have to look to know it was him.

\- "Get out."

\- "Y/N..."

\- "What word did you not get from the simply sentence I just articulated?" –I turned around to look at him, his eyes had been on my body but, as soon as I moved mines to him, he held my gaze.

\- "I'm sorry, I..."

\- "What do you want?"

\- "I want you."

I hated that he sounded so sincere. I hated how I felt my anger dissipating as much as I tried to keep an angry stance. I hated the words he spoke as soon as they left his mouth but, at the same time, they made me feel like I mattered to someone in this godforsaken planet. I still wanted to fight, to push him out of there, to force him to realize he couldn't just use his sweet talk to calm me down. But my body craved his touch so, once his hand settled on my cheek and he stood directly in front of me, I realized we were just going to keep going on circles. And I realized I didn't have the will to fight it. I wasn't sure I even cared now.

\- "I'm sorry." –I caressed his cheek where I had hit him- "I shouldn't..."

His lips on mine and the reasonable part of my brain shut down completely, my body moving closer to his like a chain reaction, already knowing what to do for this was all too familiar, yet I could never fill the void inside me that always craved for more of this. For more of him.

  
**\-------------------**

**[2ND POV]**

_ ** ** Just a little bit of affection, a little bit ** ** _

_ ** ** Just a little bit of affection, a little bit ** ** _

_****Just a little bit, just a little bit, oh, of affection**** _

Everyone is aware of the rocky relationship you both have going on, so no one is really surprised when they see disappear Bellamy inside your tent after your obvious fight, most of them too drunk to care or notice the sinful sounds coming from inside. It's no use how much you both try to fight it, you always end up like you did that night: tangled together in bed, one hoping this would stay consistent throughout the day, the other wishing they could just walk away from it without a care in the world.

** _\--------------------------_ **

**[BELLAMY'S POV]** ** _  
_ **

_ **Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places** _

_ ** And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces ** _

_ ** (One more time) ** _

_ ** Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places ** _

_ ** And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces ** _

I woke up to see Y/N already dressing up and getting ready to leave her tent. It was usually me the one leaving her tent first if we slept there but, for some reason, she had woken up earlier that day; I could tell she wanted to leave without talking to me. But I needed to sort this out.

\- "Y/N..."

\- "Drop it." –her cutting tone hurt me more than I'd ever admit- "It's time to deal with the hassle."

She left. She left her own tent to avoid dealing with me. _Maybe we really aren't good together._ _Maybe I just need to figure my shit out, I won't find what I want in her. Nor with her. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everybody!
> 
> Glad you make it till the end of this piece. Remember that feedback is the best shit ever and I truly appreciate every bit of it you guys give me, every comment, bookmark and kudos mean the world to me.
> 
> Love, Seira🌹


End file.
